Newry has been in joyous mood with the news that Woolworths is to return to the city after an 11 year absence from the local retail scene.
Former head of Woolworths Tony Page has indicated his intention to take the iconic shop back to not just Newry but all over the UK and Ireland.
However, there will be one new addition to the Newry shop as Mr Page told Newry Spud:
“Our shop at Marcus Square was one of the busiest shops in Western Europe but we always ended up in debt every day. We found out that it was the Newry fuckers stealing the pick ‘n’ mix at a rate that could have fed most of the starving in Africa. So to that end, the Newry Woolworths will have barbed wire and electronic sensors on them to stop this wholesale fucking thievery.”