A seemingly ordinary woman from Newry has said she is both ‘confused’ and ‘dismayed’ in equal measure after revealing she has a crush on internet comedic sensation Taxi-Jo.

The 26 year-old mother of two from the ghetto district of Barcroft confessed to her Priest that she had ‘unclean and wicked’ thoughts about the fictional character played by Gino Lynch.

We spoke with the woman who told us:

“I have tried to supress my feelings for Taxi-Jo but I just can’t stop thinking about saddling him up and riding him like a stallion. It’s really quite embarrassing.”

Meanwhile Gino Lynch told Newry Spud:

“Just my luck bah. I haven’t had a ride in ages and now the woman who is looking the buddly is only interested in a character I play. Fuck sake bah. Here, have you get her phone number?”