Sat. Dec 5th, 2020

The village of Burren are in a buyout mood today as news came through that the small backward village will get its first delivery of Viennetta ice cream.

Once the guilty pleasure of the rich, Viennetta is now a widely consumed dessert for most people in the modern world but for Burren, this will be a first.

The village that gave the world Frank Mitchell is not unsurprisingly light-years behind most of the Newry area, they are on par with Hilltown, Whitecross and Mayobridge in their inbred backwardness.

One local resident Colin Three-Eyes told Newry Spud:

“The excitement in the village has been palpable. You can almost taste the excitement so I hope this rich man’s ice cream is as good as what people are saying. We haven’t had ice cream here since the early 80’s when Pat Price bravely ventured up to sell us some so we can’t wait.”

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