We Need ‘Drink Turns You Into Cock-Head’ Warning Labels Say Newry Barmen

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Alcohol should have a ‘this bottle turns you into an absolute cock-head’ label in order to reduce general drunken arseholeness, according to Newry barmen.

The Newry Barmen Association are warning that even a glass of wine can turn a normal, sedate person into a blithering, dribbling mess, given the right conditions.




A spokesman for The Newry Barmen Association told Newry Spud:

“We need a new labelling system here in Newry to make sure that people who drink alcohol are aware of the fact that it can turn them into total arseholes. Some people like to use it to relax on a Friday night whereas some people, like me, turn to it to block out the overwhelming shitness of my dull life. Warning labels are needed.”