Warrenpoint residents are celebrating tonight after planners refused permission for an offshore wind-farm.
Instead, the Assembly has asked American company CIA Energy to begin drilling for oil. A large oil rig will be anchored off Narrow Water, with refining facilities constructed on the golf course.
“I’m absolutely delighted that my view won’t be ruined by windmills,” said some stupid woman who owns a shop on the sea-front. Her views were echoed by the DUP south Down spokesperson, who believes that priests use windmills to hypnotise sheep.
Commenting on the pollution risk, a CIA Energy spokesman said “We’ll be locating the rig several miles out to sea, so very little of Warrenpoint’s litter should reach it.”