Sun. Jan 24th, 2021


A seven-year-old drug mule is due to be executed tomorrow three months after an Irish drug smuggling cartel was caught smuggling cocaine out of Thailand. The Warrenpoint based gang was busted earlier this year in Bangkok after custom’s officials and officers from INTERPOL spotted the cartel’s mule after he tried to a board a flight to Dublin.

“It was pretty obvious from the beginning he was a mule,” said arresting officer Inspector Bo Lo Pang. “He stood out from all the other passengers; what with his big pointy ears, the swishing tail and, of course, he was the only passenger who shat while handing in his boarding pass for inspection.”

The mule, named Paul, is now hold up at the notorious Bangkok Hilton, where he has refused to talk to investigators and has only eaten carrots for the past five months.

 He will be hung at dawn.

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