Sun. Nov 29th, 2020


Ulsterbus in Newry has come up with a novel yet creative way to determine when and where their buses will go to as they seem to have gave up on the notion of timetables years ago we can reveal.

From today on-wards the staff will take turns in throwing two dice and see where they fall for the craic.

An Ulsterbus spokesman told Newry Spud:

“Look let’s be honest; we all know that the timetable system here is only a bit of craic, we don’t actually work by it.

So we are going to just put random places and times on a board with random numbers and fuck the dice along the bus waiting area. If your number comes up you get a bus, if not, you’re fucked.”

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