Sun. Feb 28th, 2021
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A man was admitted to Daisy Hill Hospital this morning after saying ‘Only 38 more sleeps until Christmas’ for the 19th time inside an hour we can reveal.

The Christmas enthusiast is said to be in a ‘critical but stable’ condition in the nearby hospital.

A Daisy Hill spokesman told Newry Spud:

“We would never condone any acts of violence but this fucker was asking for a slap. There’s only so many times you can listen to that ‘only 38 sleeps’ bullshit.

Someone got a bit annoyed and one punched the Christmas wanker hard in the nose which ironically left him looking like Rudolph.”

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