Wed. Jan 20th, 2021

A survey carried out by has revealed a shocking statistic.

We can reveal today that 10 out of 10 random people selected in Mullaghbawn are related to each other.

The news has sent shockwaves through the international and local genetics world with leading scientists at a loss at the high levels of close DNA results.

We spoke with world leading geneticist Vladimir Ballackoff who said:

“This is something that we have never encountered before. We have seen some interbreeding in some parts of remote Mongolia but never in the western world. It indicates a high level of interbreeding which has unfortunately weakened the genepool in the backwater of Mullaghbawn.”

But locals are upset that they are being singled out. We spoke to Liam and Grainne O’Hallion, brother and sister and also husband and wife:

“This is outrageous. We Mullaghbawn folk are a simple people who just like to be left in peace. What about the Cullyhanna and Crossmaglen ones? They’re nearly as bad as us, nearly.”

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