“Sugar Tax Won’t Stop Me”, Claims Barcroft Chubster

World's Fattest Woman

A Newry woman has promised to remain defiant against the increase in tax on sugary products like Coca-Cola, it’s been revealed. The surprise tax rise on manufacturers of sugary drinks was announced last week by George Osborne during his budget speech.

The chancellor explained that, in just one year, the average boy will ‘consume his own body weight in sugar’. Barcroft resident Margaret Fatspatrick, who says she consumes the average boy’s body weight in sugar every six hours, said she ‘isn’t put off by the tax hike”.

“Being what is essentially a land-based whale is a life choice, and a tax increase by some wanker politician isn’t going to deter me.  I’m big but I want to be bigger.

“And anyway”, she continued, “my doctor said that if I put on just three more stone, my disability benefit will go up, which will cover the sugar tax increase anyway, with enough left over for more Coke and cake”.