Scientists from Queen’s University are to carry out south Armagh wide DNA screening to see why so many of them are absolute weirdos we can reveal.
Chief scientist Harry Quinn told Newry Spud:
“It’s a well-known phenomenon that south Armagh natives as a whole are slightly weird. We want to figure out what genetic markers the dreadful fuckers have that makes them oh so awful.
We suspect it has something to do with the massive inbreeding and incest that south Armagh is famous for. But the folk of south Armagh can take heart with the fact that they are born with this affliction and it isn’t their fault.”