An evil Newry man deliberately put his black wheelie bin out on a blue wheelie bin day to confuse elderly neighbours.
That’s the scandalous claim of pensioner Mary Magill, who followed suit and put her black wheelie bin out too.
In a state of distress, she told Neery Spud:
“I thought it couldn’t have been right as I was sure that I’d put out the black wheelie bin last week. The lads from the Council only collect them every two weeks. I usually have shitloads of rubbish to get rid of so late at night, I tend to sneak out and drop my rubbish into other people’s black bins. But this morning, I woke up and looked out of my window to see that Micky O’Hanlon had put his black bin out for collection.
My memory is not as good as it used to be and I didn’t want to miss out on a black bin collection if there was one so I had to put my slippers on and put my black bin out. As it happened, it wasn’t a black bin day and I now have the embarrassment of bringing it back to the house. That Mickey O’Hanlon did it deliberately, the little twat.”
Mickey O’Hanlon was adamant that it was just a mistake. He said:
“To be honest, I’m so coked up to the tits; I’ve got no idea what day of the week it was. I’m also colour blind so I just stuck any old bin out. If Mrs Magill wants a fight, I’ll meet her out down by the park. Tell her to bring her mates.”