Thu. Dec 3rd, 2020


Downing Street has announced a surprising new addition to David Cameron’s resignation honour’s list we can reveal.

In a statement released through the Northern Ireland Office (NIO) they have announced that Sinn Féin’s Liz Kimmins is to be honoured for her work in the ghettos of Newry.

Kimmins will be honoured with a CBE (Commander Of The British Empire) and will now go by the title ‘Lady Kimmins, Baroness Of Barcroft’.

David Cameron in a brief statement to Newry Spud said that Lady Kimmins was awarded the CBE for ‘Community activism in the ghettos of Newry’.

We spoke with a delighted Ms Kimmins today while she was in the Canal Court Hotel drinking champagne and eating strawberries and cream and she told us:

“I’m delighted to be recognised by the former British Prime Minister for my work in the ghettos of this city. I suppose I’m cut in the same cloth as Mother Theresa of Calcutta, the similarities are quite stark. Apart from my work with the poor and downtrodden in places like Barcroft, just like Mother Theresa, I too live among my flock. So, I’m patiently waiting for Pope Francis to call me and announce my Sainthood.”
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