‘Fat Hole’ Cake Given To Obese Shelbourne Bakery Customer Causes Anger


The Shelbourne Bakery on Hill Street is known for its specialty in baking cakes for all occasions but they have found themselves in hot water after a customer got the shock of her life when opening a cake she got baked for her 40th birthday.

Claire Fat-Ankles told Newry Spud from her hospital bed in Daisy Hill where she is recovering from shock:

“I came home and thought I’d have a wee slice before my party as I just couldn’t wait to be honest, it was about 4 minutes since my last meal, anyway, the cake looked lovely apart from the bit calling me ‘Fat Hole’. I just thought it was a disgraceful way to treat a morbidly obese lady like myself. I’m now in hospital as I took a slight stroke when I saw the insulting remarks on the cake, but I ate the whole thing so I have no evidence for the police for fuck sake baah.”

Hugh Boyle from The Shelbourne Bakery told Newry Spud:

“It seems one of our staff thinks they are a fucking comedian, a full and thorough investigation has been launched internally.”