‘Self-Fellatio’ Competition In Newry This Weekend


Newry is set to host the first-ever Self-Blowjob World Championships next month.

Newry beat off the challenges of other Irish Cities to host the championship that will see self-suckers from all over the world fighting for the coveted title.

A Championship Spokesman told Newry Spud:

“We are delighted to be bringing the world’s first-ever Self-Fellatio Championship to Newry. This area has a proud tradition of auto-fellatio and I am glad that the judges took that into account when making their decision. We are looking forward to welcoming contestants from all over the world.”

The competition will take place over two days and winners will have their self-fellatio acts scored on artistry, bendability and ‘a convincing cum face’.

Bookies favourite is Bulgarian Ivan ‘The Great’ Bollikov who can self-fellate and whistle the theme tune to Eastenders at the same time.