Scientists have revealed that south Armagh ‘Victims’ Campaigner Willie Frazer is actually 80% Ape and 20% Catholic we can reveal.
Extensive studies have been carried out on Frazer in a remote facility near Newtownhamilton and we can now reveal the true extent of his genetic makeup.
Genetics scientist Nicola Quinn told Newry Spud:
“It really is quite remarkable how Mr Frazer managed through life relatively unscathed thus far. He is 80% Ape, we got the clues in his speech, online rants, grammar and all around buffoonery but we can also reveal that the remaining 20% of human genetics can be traced back to the Papacy of Catholic Rome.”
Mr Frazer released a statement saying he intends to carry on regardless and has asked people from now on to throw bananas at him when they see him in public.