Sat. Nov 28th, 2020

Off licences in the Newry area have reported record sales of wine and hard spirits in the last week after schools went out on summer holidays we can reveal.

The sales are thought to be in relation to parents having to spend day times alone with their little shits of children and so are turning to alcohol for help.

We spoke with one parent Lisa McDonnell who told us:

“I just want these next 8 weeks to go as quickly as possible. Drinking 4 bottles of wine a night really helps to blur the whole summer holiday thing out! People talk about teachers being over paid but I’d give them a raise after spending only 4 straight days with my little bollix’s.”

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