Residents of Newry and surrounding areas urged to ‘get the washing in’ as storm Frank brings the rain

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Local mothers have been put on red alert as experts warn of ‘quare winds and fierce rain’ as a result of storm Frank. Local weather man Kieran Meaney has issued the following message ‘For your mothers sake I urge the younger generation to check in and make sure the washing is off the line’ he also added that we are in for the ‘wettest January since 2014’.

At the time of writing, there had been 5 reported cases of middle aged women from Newry suffering mental breakdowns as a result of not making it to the washing line in time, resulting in the subsequent rewashing of the Christmas table cloth.

I was able to catch up with one local teen, Tommy O’Hallion, who was fortunate enough to reach the line in time. He relived his horrific experience- “I heard this horrifying shriek from the bottom of the stairs ‘get the washing in here’s the rain’ “- he explained.

He detailed that he seen his mother standing horrified at the bottom of the stairs, trembling in her pink marigolds. He was too upset to continue the interview. We here at Newry Spud back up Mr. Meaney’s message and urge you to get the washing in quick, for the sake of our mothers and grannies!