A local 28 year-old woman from the slums of Loanda Crescent has taken to Facebook today to declare “Dis Townz Getin Worser” we can confirm.
Grainne Fatspatrick a mother of 9 is said to be going ‘fucking nuts’ with home schooling and is generally pissed off with Newry.
Grainne told us:
“I swear to fuck baah dis townz getin worser by the fucking day baah. Between wee bastids running around the place going crazy and wrecking the place to me not being able to go down to the Armagh Down for a lock of gins. I fucking hate this place to be honest baah.”