Fri. Nov 27th, 2020


There were scenes of joy and jubilance this afternoon in Newry Call-Centre TelePerformance as a valued member of staff was elected to the lofty position as Prime Minister of Britain.

Boris Johnson who is a call handler for gas and electricity supplier E.ON who had a ‘keen interest’ in politics.

Mr Johnson told us:

“I’m delighted to be selected as the new Prime Minister of Britain. I dont have a fucking clue how I got this position, the highest office in the land.

Now that I’m leaving TelePerformance I can admit I lied on my application, I’m not even half qualified enough to answer phones. I will miss Newry especially Madden’s pub for the lovely pints.”

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