Newry’s Most Successful Business Revealed As Parking Ticket Fines


Newry’s last remaining revenue stream is the £90 fines processed to illegal parking residents, a study has confirmed this week.

With over 20 parking wardens dotted across the city, an estimated £29,000 is generated every month, placing it well in the lead in the North of Ireland.

A spokesman for the Newry Mourne & Down District Council said:

“After that drug dealer from Parkhead was jailed, the parking tickets are now the only things left making profit. We can’t fight against the economic tide; it’s obviously what we’re good at, so we’re just going to employ more parking wardens.”

As a responsible member of the council I shall be doing my bit for the local economy and parking anywhere I fucking want. It’s important that we all contribute”.