Parkhead Woman Finds Lost Virginity After Blessing Self Outside Cathedral

A Parkhead woman has found her virginity after blessing herself while walking past the Newry Cathedral we can confirm.

The 26 year-old woman who had previously lost her virginity after a drink fuelled bender several years ago said she’s ‘blessed’ to have found her much coveted virginity.

She told Newry Spud:

“It’s an amzing gift to be given back after I have it away so cheaply and easily in Dunne’s car park.

But now I’ve gotten it back I fully intend to loose it this weekend in Cobbles baah. Easy come, easy go.”