Crossmaglen Man’s Girlfriend Picked Up By Dog Warden

A Crossmaglen man has told Newry Spud of his shock and horror after Newry, Mourne & Down Council Dog Warden’s mistakenly impounded his girlfriend as a stray we can reveal.

Speaking from his Crossmaglen farm he told Newry Spud:

“I am horrified to be honest. I will be the first to admit my woman is no portrait or anything special to gaze upon but a fucking dog? I think they are literally taking the piss here.”

But a spokesman for the Dog Warden told us:

“We are obviously very embarrassed and would like to send our apologies to the concerned party. But in defence of our staff, Jaysus she was brutal looking; she even had a fucking muzzle on. We done what we thought was the safest thing for the wider community.”