A TelePerformance worker has said that a sudden yet deep feeling of depression was all he needed to make him realise he was actually still alive we can reveal.
The man who takes phone calls from yapping bastards on behalf of Sainsbury’s said it just came over him all of a sudden.
The poor unfortunate soul told us:
“I was listening to some oul fucker from Portsmouth about her pizza that she bought. Apparently there wasn’t even any cheese on top.
I told her to turn it over, yes, she fucking opened the pizza upside down. I can’t bear listening to these bastards. Only for sudden deep depression pangs to make me feel something I’d be lost.”