News swept through Camlough and surrounding areas this evening like wildfire that the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un was visiting the village.
In a sensational WORLD EXCLUSIVE Newry Spud can now reveal that the North Korean leader was indeed in Camlough and has been visiting the small rural village for this past 2 years to visit his private barber Vanessa Crilly.
Speaking to the Newry Spud Vanessa said:
“Kim’s misunderstood to be honest with ya, I mean, I know he kills a lot of his own people but he assured me most of them are dick heads so I can sleep in my bed at night quite easily. He definitely is my best paying client; he’d come in every other Thursday and ask for his famous look which I came up with by the way.”
North Korean officials have confirmed that Kim Jong-un does frequent his ‘friend and confidant’ Vanessa whom he lovingly calls ‘Nessa’ on a bi-weekly basis and that he does not intend to stop the arrangement as she ‘gives quite a lovely fresh fade’.