A controversial NHS decision will see everyone from the age of 18-60 who lives in Newry to get new livers so the population doesn’t completely die off.
Research suggests that Newry and its inhabitants are in a constant state of drunkenness and that new livers for people is the only choice now left to save the city from becoming a baron wasteland.
Chief surgeon at Daisy Hill Hospital Dr John Blind told us:
“We are now going to take any over 60’s that had a relatively clean living lifestyle and take their livers, we will then give the good liver to men and women in their 20’s and 30’s to keep them alive and somewhat productive in the community. It’s highly unethical but we are left with no other options unfortunately.”