Wed. Dec 2nd, 2020


In a disturbing new report by the World Health Organisation released today, Newry is revealed to have the highest numbers of genital crab sufferers on the planet.

Crabs which is a sexual transmitted disease better known as ‘the clap’ is rife in the small city with 1 in 2 residents carrying the disgusting disease.

We spoke with Doctor Richard Dip from Daisy Hill who told us:

“These new figures are quite alarming. Although I myself have it after our last staff party LOL. Just always make sure you ‘roll before you rock’ and everything should be fine.”

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