Sun. Nov 29th, 2020

Newry women have been asked to stop fucking about with their eyebrows because it looks ridiculous.

One Newry man told us:

“Why in the name of fuck would anyone yank out the hairs above their eyes and then paint or tattoo them back on? Everyone’s eyebrows look fine. Even if your eyebrows are not perfect, I guarantee they look better than if they were drawn on with a glorified marker.”

32-year-old Newry woman Elaine Fatspatrick told Newry Spud:

“Thanks to high quality reality television and adverts I realise that my natural features are wrong. I must augment my looks with an array of products and procedures because otherwise men will shun me.

Painting them on is outdated though. I buy pairs of fat black garden slugs and glue them onto my forehead. They are designer slugs from a top studio in Warrenpoint.”

Please follow and like us: