Sun. Jan 24th, 2021

One look at a Newry woman’s alloy wheels will tell you all you need to know about her sheer inability to drive it has been revealed.

The news comes amid concerns that ‘the women are fucking up the yoke’ according to those who share an automobile with a local woman or indeed according to local observers.

We spoke with one local woman who told us:

“I put her in drive and go. I’m not too concerned about the consequences after that to be honest. If it takes me to the get my hair and nails done then that will do the job nicely.

Ok, my dickhead boyfriend might have spent a few hundred quid on thon flashy wheels but that’s his fault. I genuinely thought they were there to make the impact of the kerb stones a little easier on my back.”

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