Tue. Dec 1st, 2020



A Newry woman has spent 2 hours and 46 minutes smelling scented candles in Around A Pound on Hill Street because she couldn’t decide on Fresh Linen or Lavender we can reveal.

Onlookers said the 47 year-old housewife faced an almost impossible decision on which candle to buy and said she looked ‘agonised’ but finally went for the Fresh Linen candle.


We spoke with the woman from her living room that smells like a whore’s handbag and she told Newry Spud:

“They have such a varied range of scented candles baah; really they should only have one or maybe two at the most, it makes it an almost impossible decision to go and shop for a candle for fuck sake. Between chocolate, fresh laundry, lemon, sandalwood I just want to take away the smell of my husband’s hole from the living room.”

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