Tue. Jan 19th, 2021

A Newry woman has told Newry Spud about a most ‘horrible plan’ her husband was caught trying to carry out and has warned other women to ‘be aware’ of the dangers of ‘tunnelling’ we can reveal.

The woman who wishes to remain anonymous told us she discovered her husband had dug a 2 and a half mile foot long underground tunnel from their bedroom to the front door of the Armagh/Down pub.

She told us:

“I noticed when I got up this past few nights for the toilet he wasn’t in bed; I presumed he was watching TV or something. Little did I know the bollox had dug a 2 and a half tunnel from his side of the bed straight to the fucking front door of the Armagh Down. Bollox baah.”

The husband who is being hailed by fellow married men as a ‘Hero’ and an ‘innovator’ has said he plans to escape in the future after the wife had concrete put into his tunnel.

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