There was shock in Newry today after a local woman deactivated her Facebook account without publicly making a whole fucking song and dance about it first we can reveal.

The woman who is on and off Facebook more often than a whore’s knickers, left the social media site in what one onlooker described as ‘quietly and without incident.’


Speaking to Newry Spud the woman said:

“This latest deactivation is only temporary. I’m pretty excited about how long it will take people to notice my obvious absence from the general banter on Newry Buy & Sell and from my motivational pictures on Newry Helping The Homeless.”

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