Newry UFO’s a reality

UFO

Have you been seeing the unusual lights in the sky at night over Newry? Have you and your family been wondering if they are real UFOs?

National UFO experts have now released an official statement from the National UFO Centre declaring that these “unusual lights” that have been showing up on a regular basis are indeed UFOs.

Multiple photographs taken with special digital lenses have proven that this is not a hoax.

Dr. Terry Stars: “These UFOs are as real as the real IRA. Our only question now is why they are here and what do they want?”

Some Newry residents are quite convinced that the alien ships are interested in having a high-level meeting with local independent councillor Kevin McAteer.

When asked why they believe that, their answer was: “Because we’ve seen banners hanging from the UFO windows saying that they are interested in having a high-level meeting with independent councillor Kevin McAteer.”

Councillor McAteer was unavailable for comment but his answering machine did say: “Hi. If you’re calling about setting up a meeting with the UFOs, tell them I’m not interested. I’ve got street lights in Parkhead to worry about.”