Sat. Jan 23rd, 2021

A security guard in Newry’s Tesco store is convinced he’s in the Secret Service or something we can reveal.

Paul Smith who patrols the aisles of Tesco’s is drunk on the power a walkie-talkie radio and a uniform gives him.

We spoke with Paul from Tesco’s this morning and he told us:

“I become something like an FBI Agent or Secret Service or something when I put this walkie-talkie earpiece in every morning. I’ve caught two grannies trying to steal a frozen chicken down their knickers and a man who had 26 tins of Special Brew up his hole.”

Meanwhile it has been reported Paul may be the new bouncer in Cobble’s such is his God Complex.

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