Fri. Nov 27th, 2020


A Newry teen became visibly flustered today as a request to borrow the family car was swiftly shot down by the Man of the House.

Stephen O’Hallion, 17, of Armagh Road had been seen by witnesses “slamming the door in utter disgust” after a simple request to borrow the family car early this evening was denied without even a second thought. Stephen then proceeded to WALK, not drive, to his neighbour’s house to allegedly play FIFA 16.

The victim’s father had this to say in regard to the incident:

“Stephen needs to learn some responsibility. You can’t just fuck around the house all day doing nothing and expect to be rewarded. Besides, his mother and I are driving the yoke up to an orgy at the Bernish later tonight.”

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