Newry Teen Test’s Mother’s Theory ‘Room Won’t Clean Itself’

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Newry teenager John Hughes has boldly decided to test his mother’s theory that his room will not clean itself.

“I really like science experiments,” said John, 15, who hasn’t cleaned his room in at least a month. “It will be interesting to see if my mom’s claim holds up.

Hughes believes that if he keeps making his room messy for long enough, it might become so messy that the subatomic particles in the room will become overwhelmed and, as a result, physically reject the presence of any mess.

“I’ll admit it’s a longshot,” said John. “But so was space travel. And we conquered that.”

Mrs. Hughes has reportedly called her son’s hypothesis “loada shite.”

“She just doesn’t appreciate the discovery that could be made here,” said John. “If, in fact, I find that my room is actually capable of cleaning itself, it could change the way mankind approaches the laborious task of sanitation.”