Sun. Nov 29th, 2020



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Starbucks coffee shop in the Quay’s shopping complex has come under heavy criticism after every customer noticed a large penis drawn on the side of their beverage instead of their names we can reveal.

It had gone relatively unnoticed until today when several customers complained about the disgraceful act.




One customer Simon Snobbychunt told Newry Spud:

“I come in every day for my totally non contrived or pretentious Caramelized Honey Latte but I just happened to look at the name on the cup. Instead of ‘Simon’ all I saw was a massive circumcised cock on the side of my cup. After I drank it I then vented my outrage at the staff. I was so hurt.”

However we spoke with one worker at the shop and she told us:

“It is now our policy to draw cocks on the cups. The name thing gets far too confusing and we spell 90% of them wrong so management told us just draw big dicks on the cups as nobody would notice but it looks now like the practice has finally caught up with us.”



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