Newry Spud Writer Now Officially Banned From Every Town & Village

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The writer behind the satirical news website Newry Spud is now officially banned from every town and village in the Newry area, it’s been revealed.

Starting in December 2015, the site quickly picked up a reputation for publishing mildly controversial material, some of which ‘rudely’ highlighted the failings and monumental cock ups of some local authorities.

Newry town councillor Kevin McAteer said: “I for one am pleased that he’s not allowed in our town anymore, I don’t care if he lives here or not. I’m sick and tired of Newry being labelled as ‘dead’ and ‘backwards. Okay, so it might be true, but we don’t want people seeing the funny side of it”.

The website is said to draw people in with information that is factually inaccurate but that has a painful whiff of truth to it.

“If you arrive on this website and get confused, just remember that most of the stuff on Newry Spud is the total opposite of reality”, explained the website’s owner, who describes himself as a sexy bachelor with a massive penis.