Sun. Jan 24th, 2021


Local pubs in the Newry area are to give a cursory IQ test to customers before serving them alcohol it has been revealed.

The move comes after an alarming rise in the number of absolute cock-wombles drinking in the Newry area.

A spokesman for Newry publicans told Newry Spud:

“We feel we have no other option left than to ask for an IQ test to be taken alongside the initial order of drink for customers coming into all bars in the greater Newry area.

This is because of the somewhat meteoric rise in full blown bell-ends walking about this place drunk. Every weekend it’s full of ‘Bate the Towns’ after they get a few pints in them.”

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