Tue. Jan 19th, 2021


A mentally unstable and violent young woman has claimed on her PlentyOfFish.com dating profile that she ‘does not take life too seriously’. 28 year-old Elaine Quinn from Newry further reveals that:

She loves to laugh

Works hard but plays harder

Loves to travel

Enjoys going out but also staying in

Seeks a ‘partner in crime who is at least 5ft 11’

This torrent of nauseous but optimistic clichés comes despite the fact that she has recently been convicted on 3 counts of grievous bodily harm. She also continues to remain housebound under electronically tagged curfew.

“My friends say I’m really down-to-earth and SO easy-going!” Claire remarked after placing her cat in the microwave. “I also love going to the pub but am just as happy with a DVD and a glass of wine. I’m a big fan of banter too. So watch out boys!”

Claire completed her profile by stating that she enjoys ‘long walks on the beach at sunset’, presumably to put an axe through your skull.

Please follow and like us: