Newry PSNI have said last night was one of their easiest nights on duty as all known Newry sexual deviants and virgins stayed in doors to watch the mediocre and over-hyped ‘Game Of Thrones’.

Officer Bill Jones told Newry Spud:

“It was a handy wee shift, this Game of Thrones shite had us relaxing as all local sexual deviants and predators in the Newry area where obviously stuck to their TV sets watching it so we kicked back and had a wee bit of a party, we got a few tins of Stella in and a pizza from La Dolce Vita.”

But one local virgin Tristan ‘The Piston’ Smyth told Newry Spud:

“Yea, we had a night off, I mean, it was Game of Thrones man, awesome, totally dude.”