Thu. Dec 3rd, 2020


The perverts of the Newry community have held a candlelight vigil after the sunny weather has disappeared we can report.

The news comes after the amount of diddies on show over the hot few days are now covered up in O’Neill’s GAA hoodies.

One local pervert told Newry Spud:

“We all gathered in Hill Street last night in the rain and held our candles up to ask Jesus to take back the sun so we can see all the glorious bouncers on show all over the shop. The only things I see now that resemble diddies is the Mourne Mountains.”

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