Wed. Jan 27th, 2021

Anyone who puts ‘PT’ (Personal Trainer) after their names on Facebook are socially awkward, self-conscious fuckwits we can reveal.

The mere fact that anyone with less than half a brain can claim to be a ‘PT’ without any evidential documentation means that it falls just second after ‘Full Time Mummy’ as Newry’s biggest employer.

We spoke with one Newry ‘PT’ Micky LookAtMe and he said:

“I never even go to the gym to be honest. It is more of a thing to get the women on board (LOL). It seems to work too, I have one of the hottest women in Newry and look at my face, like seriously, look at it…it’s so ugly I scare the shite back into people.”

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