Newry people have very little to worry about in life it has been revealed.
After tonight’s X-Factor episode some hysterical people are ‘disgusted’ ‘outraged’ ‘sickened’ and ‘annoyed’ over Honey G getting through in place of other ‘talented’ people.
We spoke with one devastated Newry woman Sally SaggyArms and she told us:
“I’m in shock and simply devastated at this decision tonight on X-Factor. I know there are people sleeping on Hill Street in sleeping bags tonight but I literally won’t get a wink of sleep tonight over the judge’s decision. Outraged. I might even start up my own Facebook page to show my outrage in a public forum.”
Meanwhile Simon Cowell told Newry Spud:
“Where or who to fuck is Newry?”