Wed. Dec 2nd, 2020

The Newry Omniplex Cinema has announced today that female customers will no longer be allowed to bring in cucumbers to the ‘Fifty Shades Freed’ movie we can reveal.

The news comes after staff at the cinema say it is like a cucumber minefield after each showing of the erotic film.

An Omniplex spokesman told Newry Spud:

“You wouldn’t believe it without seeing it. It’s like a cucumber graveyard that smells of fish. Why are they bringing in this vegetable and not a bag of Revels like other people.”

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