Thu. Jan 28th, 2021

The Newry, Mourne & Down District Council has made a ground breaking decision that is sure to help ease the flow of traffic in and out of the city.

From next month there will be dedicated ‘dick head’ traffic parking spots for those driving Land Rovers, Mercedes and BMW’s who think they can park anywhere anyway.

A dick head motorist told us:

“This is fucking class news baah. It doesn’t really matter to me anyway to be honest as I just throw the yoke anywhere I fucking want LOL.

But seriously, I bought this fuck off Land Rover to come in and out of Newry and to think that I have to abide by the same rules as some fucker in a Micra or Fiesta is not fair like.”

To get a ‘dick head’ parking badge you must show up at the council offices on Monaghan Row and show them the yoke you drive and if it meets the dick head criteria you will be issued the badge on the spot.

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