Tue. Dec 1st, 2020





A middle-aged Newry man has told Newry Spud he is ‘seriously reassessing’ his life after eating last night’s cold Wan-Ho Chinese takeaway on his couch in his knickers while wondering what he did last night.

Liam FatWaist from Newry was in Bellini’s and then Cobbles drinking an ‘awful amount’ of liquor before stumbling his way to the ‘other Chinese take-away other than Ken’s’ and can’t remember anything after that.




Liam told Newry Spud:

“I woke up on the couch with half of this curry fried rice all over me and the couch; I couldn’t help but scoop it up in my hands and throw it on the plate. I was starving and dying so I ate it stone cold baah. I’m not sure what direction my life is going in at the moment to be honest. Is Madden’s opened yet?”

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