Thu. Dec 3rd, 2020


A young man has been rushed to Daisy Hill Hospital after suffering what doctors are calling a ‘cringe induced attack’ after flashbacks of the yoke he shifted at The Marine last night.

The unnamed man thought to be in his mid 20’s was last seen ‘shifting the face’ off some woman believed to be anywhere from the age of 45 to 80 according to eyewitness accounts.

A Daisy Hill Hospital spokesman told Newry Spud:

“We can confirm that a young man in his 20’s fell violently ill after having a Cringe Attack brought on by his persuit of a GILF at a nearby nightclub. His family have asked for your prayers and for privacy at this hard time.”

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