Wed. Dec 2nd, 2020

A Newry man has told Newry Spud about his what he describes as a ‘mixture of shame and accomplishment’ last night after successfully masturbating during an episode of Eastenders.

Tony ‘Sid’ Hughes who was sitting at home alone while Eastenders came on began to feel ‘frisky’ and when he saw Shirley Carter on his screen he thought he’d ‘crack one out’.

Maurice spoke to Newry Spud while recounting his ‘shame wank’ and he told us:

“I was bored and Shirley just made something in my pants stir, I can’t explain it. It took great skill to complete the wank as every time I was neared climax the camera would go to Ian Beale or Mick Carter for fuck sake but I stuck with it and it thankfully I had a fantastic happy ending.”

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