Sun. Feb 28th, 2021
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A Newry man is in hospital after attempting to open his bottle of Blue WKD with his vagina.

Dermot Fatspatrick attempted to open the bottle using only his vagina to impress some nearby ladies in Cobbles. His friend, Brian told Newry Spud:

“He was trying to pull some birds as he hasn’t got his leg over in years. He bought his usual tipple of Blue WKD and tried a bit too hard to show off. He tried opening the bottle with his vagina and that’s when we heard a large pop.

The next thing we know, Dermot is on the floor in pain. We called him an ambulance. He was still able to talk but he was in a lot of pain. I then took the two girls home that Dermot was trying to pull and gave them a good seeing to once I’d finished my pint of Harp.”

Dermot is hoping to leave hospital in the next few days. He said:

“I won’t be doing that again in a hurry, that’s for sure.”

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